What Anthony Bourdain Taught Me About Travel...And Myself.
Editorial credit: Donald Bowers Photography / Shutterstock.com
“Travel isn't always pretty. It isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts; it even breaks your heart. But that's okay. The journey changes you; it should change you…You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.” - Anthony Bourdain
Anthony Bourdain is a legend in the travel industry. I’ve always admired his sense of adventure, courage, “screw it” attitude, and some of the best travel quotes in the business. My husband & I recently watched the documentary about his life, “Roadrunner", it was honestly pretty eye-opening.
Early on in his travel/TV career, his crew talked about how he started out so shy and not wanting to socialize much—which seems so contrary to what we saw on screen—but they coaxed him out of his shell and he became the version of himself we all knew & loved.
I’m a shy, awkward person who appreciates her alone time, struggling to promote myself & my business. So watching these scenes I thought, “Well if Anthony Bourdain was able to come out of his shell, maybe I can, too.”
But then I look at where he ended up—dying by suicide in a French hotel—and I have to wonder if the struggle between his on-screen image and his true self were so much at odds that it ate him alive as he got deeper and deeper into it.
My travel accounts are nothing to gawk at. I have barely over 150 followers, and most of those are family and friends. But I’ve been telling myself for the last couple years, “just fake it til you make it”—so I’ve found myself speaking differently on that account, dressing differently just so the photos turn out better, trying to make everything perfect.
But that’s just so not me.
I was on the verge of giving up on travel a few days ago. I deleted my website and almost deleted my instagram. I got caught up in likes, followers, number of bookings, new clients, how much money I made, etc…and I felt like such a failure. But watching that documentary I wondered what Anthony’s “WHY” was, and if it was worth losing himself over.
I saw a lot of myself in “Tony” as I watched that documentary and that excited me and scared me all at once. So I’m starting over, re-introducing myself, and getting back to my “why”—to help make travel more accessible for the people I love (more about that later). And while doing so I’m giving you the real me—clumsy, sarcastic, messy, unkempt. Definitely not an influencer. Just me, a corporate copywriter-travel agent-coach’s wife who has no idea what she’s doing with her life, but knows that travel makes her feel the most alive.